Thong is an English village in Kent south of Gravesend, which sounds harmless except for the name. Grave in turn means something serious suggesting this is no laughing matter. This is especially true when we link “end” back to “thong” because it may not have one. There is also an Upper Thong in West Yorkshire, which gives new meaning to the word “separates”.

The Upper Thongers have an annual Welly Wanging championship where they throw umbrellas without the use of artificial wind. To keep the conversation serious, the name of the sexy underwear you were thinking of originally once meant a narrow strip of leather used especially for the lash of a whip. We bet you didn’t know that either.