The town of Malvern is in the Malvern Hills of Worcestershire, where it is possible to visit an Iron Age fort called British Camp, although we would not want you to jump to the conclusion that horny veterans hang around there taking in the view because it’s not like that at all. It’s actually a nice historic fort with earth mounds.

Hornyold Road may take its name from John Joseph Hornyold who died 1778 aged 72. He was a local bishop and was not supposed to have been a horny old man at all. Horny was also the old English name for the devil Lucifer as in Old Nick. This is getting complicated. It’s time to move on.