We saw this sign in Bell near Wollaston in England that no doubt has a clanger or two to show. Before you start thinking naughty things, bell-end also means a stupid person. Jeremy Clarkson had a spot of bother when he drove a car in Argentina with that as registration number after it lost the Falklands War.

“Belle” means a lovely lady at a party, and a center of attraction bound to lure lads from Wollaston to Bell End in excited droves. As the atmosphere in the Bell End village hall warms up we imagine things coming to a head, and some lucky lad making her his dancing partner for the night. Did we hear a bell ring somewhere?