Upton-upon-Severn is a small town in Worcestershire, England on the River Severn so the name has absolutely nothing to do with positions on the table. Minge might, although there’s no reason to suspect anything undercover. A little old lady living in the street told the papers she liked her Minge because it gave her a giggle.

If you’re ever ordering anything and tell people your address, as soon as you say “Fanny”, they know exactly where you mean, she added. We’ll presume that is her name, and finish by admitting Minge is borrowed from the ancient Romani term mindž which could mean exactly what you are thinking.