We’re confused about this. Why would walking cause Japanese people to catch fire? We heard they work very hard, so perhaps they also walk quickly and the friction causes their shoes to catch alight. It might be cheaper to ask them to do text messaging while they stroll along the sidewalks, as this would slow them down.

At least the fire people would have less to do, and they might have time to dig out koi fish ponds. We’re still trying to figure out why the person’s head is burning while their shoes are heating up. Maybe it’s all the brainpower needed to figure out predictive text.